Lately there seems to be nothing but frustration here. But all that put together is nothing much to me because I don't care about any of that crap. It's just that I feel like writing all those grievances and rantings of mine and what would be a better place than blog!
Lately i found myself underperforming in the exams. That's nothing to fret about because Its out of my own choice to explore a world I like. But I just discovered there is worse to come.
How do you feel when trust is broken? Awful!!? I don't know clearly what I'm feeling right now. I'm in no position to think. I wonder how I'm writing this long when I can't even string two words together. Even my hands refuse to type in. I can't feel the music blowing the roof off. The coach feels so uneasy, I wonder how I sat and worked all these days. I'm out of the realms of the time domain. I don't know how long I've sat here staring at the screen thinking how to start. Anyone would have lost count of the errors I'm committing and all those random phrases I deleted which made their way onto the post even without my concsious. I feel strange tingling in my stomach. May be thats what they refer to as 'insides churning'.
How would it be if you were to realise that all the while you put your belief in something that never existed. Now I think I know how King Arthur would have felt when he just realised that his Rome never Existed except in his own head.
Love...I wonder how everything seems to be so perfect but not quite right. Don't get carried away because this is not another of those silly college campus affairs or innocent enough infatuations. What I'm talking about here is about Love and not anything in particular. All I ever believed in is Love. And now I'm supposed to discover that feelings are almost never mutual. I believed in Love as much as I believed in my self. Now that my faith is broken, all was left with is my self. Fatally struck like never before, I can't even cry. That's what I do generally, but my eyes are drained already, I've been crying all the time I'm alone.Every moment seems to be so long. But it's all floating away so fast.........
With all these thoughts filling up my mind, purposeless, like poisoned needle slowly and delicately making my head, heavier than lead,I can't write anything more. With every thought, the thread is lost. I don't find solitude in words anymore. I wonder weather I'm existing still or gone for the good. So that's it chaps, more if I ever make it back.
